Announcer 2: Speaking of punishment, here’s a nova that can really dish it out, the Stone Bad Ass…Lance Stryker!”
Announcer 1: And his partner for tonight, XWF’s resident speed demon, Fastball. I have no idea how any of the other contestants are gonna keep sight of him, let alone beat him.
Project Hestia paraphysician Max Barr and Jean Splicer rush up to escort Tracer out of the ring and off-stage. She can barely walk, and she’s shouting something about Caestus Pax. As others approach to help, Barr yells out that all Hestia personnel should evacuate the arena due to dangerously high levels of quantum radiation. Both of them can barely be heard above the roar of the crowd, who seem to be oblivious to what’s going on below. They’re trying to rush the ring, clamoring for autographs of Hestia and XWF members alike, but so far Gabriel and his security team are keeping them under control. Meanwhile, out in the bleachers, Caestus Pax is kinetically signing dozens of autographs at the same time while posing for the cameras.
JD: Here is it, folks. The fight everyone’s been waiting for, the Main Event!
DM: And here she is, from Team Tomorrow Americas, Project Hestia’s director, Amber “Tracer” McAllister.
JD: Besides being able to track novas, Tracer can disrupt nova powers completely, and copy powers from others.
DM: You know, Hestia’s been doing pretty well tonight, but if this is what they send for the main event…
JD: She looks tiny compared to her opponent…The Black Circle Champion, Duke…The Core…BAARONNN!!!!
*crowd goes wild*
DM: Core’s looking wild crazy tonight.
JD: Well, he must have something to say, he’s reaching for the mike.
Core: Looks like your boys have been doing pretty good tonight. I think it’s time I handled bidness for the X! W! F!” *Crowd pops* I hate to smack around a pretty little thing like you, but it is my job. You gots anything you wanna say before I hit you with the Core Meltdown?”
DM: That’s gotta sting. Just as he was handing the mike to Tracer, he melted it in his hand.
JD: Ouch! The crowd is laughing, although Tracer seems to be keeping her cool.
DM: Wait, take look at her. She’s growing…and her eyes are glowing. Guess Core made a mistake getting so close. She’s copied his powers! The crowd loves it!
JD: And they’ve started. Look at them go at it. The blows are raining back and forth, but neither one seems to be hurting the other much.
DM: Tracer isn’t doing much to Core, but she doesn’t have any problem defending herself from his blows.
JD: And Core isn’t happy about that. I guess he expected her to be a pushover, like the rest of us. He’s angry, and you can see the plasma building up around him.
DM: Doesn’t seem to have helped much, Tracer just built up right along with him.
JD: Looks like this match is going to be a lot more exciting that we thought, Dusty.
DM: It’s taken a while, but it looks like Tracer has finally landed some lucky punches through Core’s defense. Those hits are landing, and Core’s taking some punishment.
JD: It’s not enough, though. Core’s healing factor is kicking in, and those wounds are disappearing.
DM: It was enough to piss him off, though, and once again, he’s building up. I don’t think we’ve ever seen power of this magnitude in the Arena, JJ. It’s amazing!
JD: As you can hear, the arena is pounding, and the plasma buildup is melting parts of the ring. Artifex and Deva have their crew out there, reinforcing the arena walls as we speak.
DM: And if we have seen this kind of power once before, we definitely haven’t seen it twice! You can barely see her as Tracer powers up right along with Core. Both of them are surrounded in a red-hot wreath of plasma.
JD: Look out in the crowd! One of the audience has erupted in flames!
DM: You’re right, he *has* erupted. Oh! And over there, another one! Throwing lightning around.
JD: Wow! Never thought I’d see that in a fight. Gabriel and his security team are rushing over, along with Splicer, but…both new novas have suddenly stopped!
DM: It’s Tracer, JJ! She’s stopped fighting Core, and has disrupted both of them.
JD: I don’t know how much longer this can go on, but this is turning into one of the greatest matches in XWF history!
DM: And they’re still going at each other. Every time one of them lands a blow, pieces of the ring fall down around them.
JD: Look at that, now security is evacuating the front row!
DM: If this doesn’t stop soon, we might all have to evacuate.
JD: *chuckles* What a fight, Dusty, what a fight! Wait! Do you see something? In the distance, approaching the arena.
DM: It looks like someone is flying in! Who could be willing to step into the ring with these two?
JD: It’s Caestus Pax, Dusty, Caestus Pax!
DM: Folks, you’re seeing it all here today! Caestus Pax has flown into the ring, and stepped in between Core and Tracer. It looks like he’s gotten them held apart with his awesome kinetic power.
Pax: That’s quite enough you two. I officially declare this fight a draw.
JD: Pax has called the fight! Tracer is powering down, and starting to move out of the ring.
DM: Core is still going, and now he’s turned on Pax!
JD: Pax has still got him pinned down, but it looks like he’s putting some effort into it.
DM: But wait JoJo…what’s Tracer doing? She’s turned around, and she’s staring at Core. Is she saying something?
JD: No, look! Core’s been extinguished. Tracer’s known for her disruption, and she’s finally pulled it out.
DM: Core’s powered up again, but it looks like this match is definitely over now. After that last move, Tracer’s collapsed, and both she and Core are being helped out of the ring.
JD: Well, folks, it may have been a draw, but this match was one for the history books.
DM: And that’s all for tonight’s events. Good fight, and Good night!
JD: Next up, we have tonight’s “Get in the Cage Match.” That crane is setting the arena for this one of a kind event. In order to win this contest, a competator must get a trophy from a safe, locked in a bank vault, suspended in a cage, suspended in a cage, suspended in a final cage.
DM: That’s right, folks, three cages, a bank vault, and a safe. That would be tough enough to get through without someone pounding away on you.
JD: Speaking of pounding, here’s Tess “Metal” Turbo now. At am incredible seven foot seven inches tall, you won’t see many novas taller than her. Even Termanatrix looks small beside her.
DM: That is, except for her opponent in this event, XWF’s own Omar “The Pulverizer” Ibraham. He checks in at over twelve and a half feet tall.
JD: His height may seem like a huge advantage, but Metal outweighs him by over half a ton.
DM: It must be nice to be made out of solid steel.
JD: As we all know, Pulverizer’s got his trademark Pulverizers, so to be fair, we’ve scattered weapons throughout the cages.
DM: Nothing big, just some baseball bats, fire axes, chainsaws, even a flamethrower!
JD: Metal’s asking for the mic, looks like she’s got something to say.
Metal: Hey Pulverizer! When you trashed my band’s stuff, you missed a guitar, so I brought it for you!
DM: Haha! Metal just slammed that guitar into Pulverizer, and shattered it over his head! Of course, Pulverizer just shook it off, and both of them have started tearing apart the outer cage.
JD: They’re making quick work of the outer cage, but instead of heading to the next one, Pulverizer is going for Metal!
DM: He’s going to work with those Pulverizers, but she’s grabbed the chainsaw, and she’s giving it right back.
JD: That chain saw is also tearing apart the cage next to them, and now that there’s an opening large enough, Metal’s slipped inside.
DM: Pulverizer’s tearing it apart more, and going in right after her.
JD: The action’s just getting started. We’ll be right back after a word from our sponsor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eH4u8nAduMw&mode=related&search=
JD: Welcome back, folks. Our furious fighters have both made it through the inner cage and are struggling with the vault door.
DM: Not that there’s much left of the cages, JJ.
JD: That’s right. And look, Metal’s picked up the entire vault and is beating Pulverizer with it.
DM: Talk about smackdown! The vault’s broken open on his head!
JD: And some renewed life from the Pulverizer. He’s just thrown Metal completely out of the ring.
DM: Now he’s reaching inside the vault, and he just pulled out the safe. He’s almost there!
JD: Might be too late, though, Dusty. Metal just picked up the crane used to assemble the cages!
DM: That thing weighs over 50 tons, folks. 50 tons!
JD: Look at her swing that thing. Slam! Right into the Pulverizer!
DM: 50 tons!
JD: What a crash! You could feel that in the nosebleeds. The entire arena shook.
DM: And what a move, JoJo. Pulverizer’s dropped the safe, and Metal’s heading over to it. She’s pulling at the door, and it looks like it’s about to give.
JD: Wait just a minute! The crane is moving! It’s Pulverizer! He’s standing up, and lifting the crane over his head. And he’s just thrown it on Metal. That must been at least 50 feet, and he pitched it like it was nothing. That crane just can’t take anymore, and it’s in a heap of twisted steel covering Metal.
DM: Looks like Metal’s out, and Pulverizer’s pulverizing the entire wreck just to make sure.
JD: I think I see movement! Do you?
DM: Yeah, it’s Metal. She’s not quite out of the running yet. She’s gotten her hand out of the wreckage…and what’s that?
JD: It’s the trophy! She’s got the trophy! The crowd’s going wild. What an upset! We were sure that was Pulverizer’s match, but Metal pulled through in the end.
DM: Pulverizer’s shaking his head like coming out of a bad dream. He should have spent less time trying to kick some ass, and more time with his eye on the prize.
JD: Metal’s standing, but she looks a little woozy. Looks like Pulverizer’s gonna help her out of the ring. What a great match up, and what a great day so far. The only way it could get better is with today’s main event, after this commercial break.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dye_ibjPY0g&mode=related&search=
JD: Next up we have our double dogfight match. We’ll be using the screens again because this match doesn’t take place *in* the arena, but above it. They’re gonna need a lot of room to maneuver at those speeds.
DM: If you look up now, JoJo, you can see the XWF team, Raja “The Demon King” Ravana, and the enigmatic, half-man half-jet Stealth.
JD: The Demon King can’t fly on his own, and is being carried by Stealth. Sounds like a disadvantage to me.
DM: But that’s not so. The Demon King can travel to hell and back, teleporting himself to the fight whenever he needs to.
JD: From Hestia, we have Jack “Fireguard” Sullivan and Jack "Ace" Meyers. Both of them are excellent flyers. Fireguard comes to us from
DM: Sounds like my kind of guy.
JD: Ace is a homegrown boy from
DM: They’re getting into position…and they’re off. Looks like Demon King is riding Stealth, while Ace and Fireguard are flying their own courses.
JD: Wow! Demon King teleported off of Stealth, and is grappling Ace in mid-air, four arms pounding into him. Meanwhile, Fireguard and Stealth have been exchanging fire…well, bullets in Stealth’s case.
DM: It looks like Ace has gotten the upper hand in the grapple. But no! Demon King just vanished, and now he’s beating on Fireguard. He’s trying to burn the Demon King off, but the Demon King’s giving him a beating.
JD: And now that Stealth is free, he’s been firing at Ace. Ace is deftly dodging bullets and missiles, returning fire with his heat ray vision. Lots of near misses, and it looks like Ace is going in on a collision course.
DM: They’re going in fast, and Ace has frozen him with some type of super breath.
JD: Doesn’t look to good for Stealth, he’s falling fast.
DM: Wait! Ace is actually flying up to catch Stealth. What a heart!
JD: Looks like that was a mistake, Dusty. Stealth just set off some kind of explosion, right in Ace’s arms. Stealth is flying away, but Ace is out cold. He’s falling, and his eufiber has shifted, covering his whole body. I think it’s trying to protect him from the impact.
DM: Don’t think it was enough, though. That’s a hell of a fall and…ouch! Did he just land on his head?
JD: And with Ace gone, Stealth and Demon King have both concentrated on Fireguard.
DM: Now Fireguard does have some healing, and it looks like he’s trying to get to Ace to get him back up, but he just can’t get through the combined attack.
JD: It looks like Fireguard’s starting to glow…maybe a side effect of trying to heal himself?
DM: Not sure, but he seems to keep getting brighter.
JD: And hotter. Whew! It’s warming up in here.
DM: We’re not the only ones getting hot. Demon King and Stealth are trying to tough it out, but they’re sweating hard.
JD: It won’t last long at this rate. Fireguard can’t stand up to the double-team for long.
DM: He’s staying ahead of those bullets and missiles, but he can’t shake the Demon King.
JD: And it’s still getting hotter. You think we’re safe down here? I can really feel that heat.
DM: With our safety precautions, they would evacuate us if there was any danger.
JD: Oh man! It looks like Fireguard just exploded! What’s going on up there?
DM: I can’t see much after that light, but Stealth is hauling ass away from him, and it looks like the explosion woke up Ace.
JD: And he’s headed out of there on foot. Now that our eyes are adjusting, I can see Demon King is still trying to hang in there.
DM: Fireguard and the Demon King both look tired. I think the Demon King is losing his grip. Yes! And there he goes, falling away. I hope he lands better than Ace.
JD: Speaking of Ace, we’ve still got him and Stealth out there somewhere, but Fireguard finally seems to be cooling off.
DM: He still looks shook up, JoJo. His flight pattern’s erratic as he’s trying to recover.
JD: Wait, I think I see something. It’s Stealth, coming back to take another shot at Fireguard.
DM: It looks like Fireguard is trying to land. I think he thinks he won. I don’t think he sees Stealth.
JD: Stealth has opened fire, and Whoa! What just happened?
DM: Stealth is crashing, something hit him!
JD: It’s Ace! Where did he come from? Did he teleport?
DM: Nope. That’s just how fast he flies. But Stealth isn’t out of the picture yet. He’s trying to recover from the crash.
JD: But Fireguard heard that, and he’s laying into him with fire.
DM: And Ace has joined in with his heat ray vision.
JD: Stealth is throwing up his hands. He gives up! What a fight folks! Another win for Hestia.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvTU0rlhBVw&mode=related&search=
JD: This next match is a special one, ladies and gentlemen. Please welcome our guest, Robbie “Umbra” Ellison, who’s going to darken the arena.
DM: You might ask why we’re doing this. This match is gonna be so fast, and over so quickly, if you could watch it, you would know the winner before you ever figured out what happened.
JD: But don’t worry, we’ve spared no expense. For tonight’s match we have the world’s largest screens (Four huge, wall-size LCDs descend from the ceiling.) so that you can watch the match, blow-by-blow, larger than life!
DM: JJ, these screens are so big, the Guinness people are here!
JD: Here comes Project Hestia’s own Rodrigo "Hustle" Alvarez. As you may have heard, Hustle was recently named the Houston Tornado after defending the Mayor from a vicious Teragen attack.
DM: He’s still a young kid, but definitely showing some promise.
JD: And from the other side of the arena, Punit “Fastball” Rao, a whirling “tornado” of speed himself.
DM: Fastball is a tough fighter, hardened on the streets. We’ll see how Hustle stands up to him.
JD: Umbra has darkened the arena, and we’re ready to start.
(A bell rings, and is followed by a deafening explosion of sound, then silence.)
DM: We’ve been signaled that the match is now over. Let’s watch that replay on the big screen.
JD: Whoa! I thought this thing was gonna be in slow-motion.
DM: It is, JoJo; however, these guys are just that fast.
JD: And now they’re into it. They’ve vying for position, trading punches with each, but each of them is successfully dodging out of the way.
DM: Look at those moves now. Hustle is spinning through the air, landing blows in all directions, almost as if he’s suspended in mid-air.
JD: Man, Dusty, even the big
DM: It’s a surprise, but Hustle’s clearly dominating this match. Fastball’s got the skills, but he just can’t get off the defensive.
JD: It’s amazing. If you look at this picture of Hustle from just two weeks ago, he’s obviously been training hard. All that baby-fat is gone, replaced by lean, hard muscle.
DM: It looks like Hustle knew he was gonna have to pull out all the stops for this fight, and by gosh, he did.
JD: Did you just see that move?! Even in slow-motion, it looks like Hustle was in two places at once.
DM: What’s Fastball doing now? Just swinging in the air?
JD: No. That must be the sound we heard earlier, his signature Fastball Surprise. He’s breaking the sound barrier with each of those swings.
DM: Well, it’s definitely caught Hustle by surprise, and look at those blows. Fastball’s laying into him now.
JD: But he’s recovered quickly, and now it looks like he wants to end this. He’s going in for the killing blows.
DM: Look at that JJ! He’s phased right through Fastball, and finished him with an elbow to the back of the head! Match to Hustle!
JD: There’s gonna be a lot of unhappy bookies in Vegas tonight. No one thought he was gonna pull this one off.
DM: Hustle looked like he was barely a
JD: The darkness is up, and there’s Hustle now, playing to the crowd.
DM: And the crowd loves it. They’re going wild for this guy.
JD: What a fight ladies and gentleman. And to think it was only 10 seconds long. You’re gonna spend longer than that with this next commercial break.
JD: Folks, to start us off tonight, we’ve got Hestia’s Charlie “Sonic” Krebowski, and our own Christine "The Terminatrix" Jesensky.
DM: Sonic is a member of Project Hestia Americas, and packs quite a punch with his sound blasts. A native of
JD: Terminatrix towers over Sonic, her seven foot frame giving her over a foot height advantage, and she’s a powerhouse; a whirlwind of teeth and claws.
DM: Don’t forget, Terminatrix is a Teragen terrorist, so no wonder Utopia wants to take her down. Now they have a chance, no holds barred.
JD: We can barely hear in the arena, folks, as Sonic starts out with his signature move, blasting sound into the Terminatrix.
DM: The brunt of those sonic attacks are hitting her head on, and she’s on the ropes! Wow, Jojo, looks like this one’s gonna be over quick.
JD: Terminatrix stumbles and takes a fall. The fat lady’s singing, Sonic’s gonna win this early. This is gotta be one of the fastest matches I’ve seen in…Hold your horses! Sonic’s turned to the crowd, and he’s posing for the cameras!
DM: That’s a big mistake, JJ. She won’t let that slide. And there she goes; Terminatrix is up, and Whoa! What a hit! Sonic is reeling. She’s lined him up, and there’s her signature power disruptor. Looks like he can’t bring up that sonic blast now.
JD: Look at her lay into him, Dustin. Those claws are ripping him apart, and he can barely even reach her with those long claws and even longer arms. She must have two feet on the poor kid. He’s getting brutalized!
DM: Oh no! That had to hurt! This is difficult to watch.
JD: Terminatrix just hit him with a drop kick so hard his parents felt it.
DM: No doubt! This is brutal! Sonic is barely conscious.
JD: But he’s not out yet! Did you see that kick! And he lands a combo.
DM: Is Terminatrix smiling? Those blows barely fazed her. Ouch! Now she’s punishing him for those lucky hits!
JD: It’s over folks. She’s got him in the air and he’s struggling just to breathe. Can you hear her? What’s she saying?
DM: It sounds like she’s offering him as some kind of sacrifice to Divas Mal! She’s gonna gut him in the middle of the ring! Someone get in there and stop her!
JD: Looks like someone is. Who’s that coming up behind her?
DM: That’s Hestia member Jean Splicer. She was instrumental in the defeat of Teragen elite Eclipse. Looks like she’s gonna blindside Terminatrix.
JD: No, she just touched Sonic while Terminatrix had her backed turned. Now she’s clearing out. What was that all about?
DM: That’s right, she has a healing touch! Sonic should be as good as new and look at him go! He IS as good as new! He’s laying into Terminatrix with his Sonic Blast again. He’s got her reeling! He’s laying down some punishment now!
JD: Ooh! A lucky claw by the Terminatrix. She’s powering up her disruptor blast!
DM: Wait…it looks like Sonic’s powering up for something. You can almost feel the vibrations, even out here.
JD: Wow! That blast blew her halfway across the arena. It’s gotta be over now folks. No, wait, she’s standing back up and…Timber! She goes down like a log. Winner: Sonic, of Project Hestia. What a fight! And there’s even more to come after the break.
The crowd is roaring at tonight’s All-Star Charity Showdown. Center stage, Tess Turbo wails away, while outside the flashes are popping as celebrities arrive. Here’s Skew, with his T2M teammate, Slider. Mefistofaleez arrives with his crew, shortly after Lance Stryker. The list of famous novas goes on and on: Kikjak, The Face, even Count Orzaiz; they’re all here. This event is going to raise millions for tonight’s charities: Amnesty International, Tuesday’s Child, and the RSPCA. Our announcers for tonight are the XWF’s Jerry “JoJo” Dylan and Dustin McShane. They’re working the crowd as the show gets ready to start.
We’ve all been there. The pop of the crowd as we all shout for a face as he uses a finisher to KO a jobber. Heat for the heels when they pull out an upset. We’ve all been the mark, but is it actually real?
People have always sought fighting as entertainment, and there’s always been someone to provide. Greco-Roman wrestling, Boxing, Kick Boxing, all produced great fighters. The memorable ones, though, were the ones who entertained. Mohamed Ali was a great fighter, but who doesn’t remember “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee?” Other organizations capitalized on this and Sports Entertainment was born. Organizations like the WWF, WCW, and ECW sought to play directly to the crowds. While these organizations shouldn’t just be dismissed as fake, as they did take a great degree of athleticism, the plotlines were pre-written and the outcomes decided in advance.
Now, the XWF...not as staged as a pro wrestling event, but more entertaining than a shoot fighting league. Sure, most of the drama is staged (There are always exceptions,) and even a few matches are, but that’s part of why we love it. They want us to have fun, and we do.
So yeah, call me a mark, but I’m gonna watch when Pulverizer gets a car dropped on him by Curbstomp. I’m gonna cheer when Curbstomp gets his come uppance, and I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that when Core faces down Superbeast for the Black Circle Championship, they’re fighting for real, and we’re about to get a hell of a show.
