N!terview with "Stone Badass" Lance Stryker

N!Reporter: Mr. Stryker, rumors have circulated in recent weeks about you taking a role as a guest contender during next month's XWF pay-per-view Hong Kong Karnage. Do you have any respose for -

Stryker: Hell yeah, son, I gotta response for whatever [CENSORED] artists are goin' around talkin' smack about the Stone Badass! Do i look like a damn cartoon to you, son? Do I look like Core or Mauler or one of them other mite-injectin', pumped-up, fake-ass faggots that goes out there and rolls around his damn underwear so that a bunch of fat OpNet turds can sit around and jack off? If Core wants to take off his little makeup and come out from inside his little arena and bring his little Core Meltdown to Tanzania or Macedonia or Kashmir or some other place where real men do real fightin' for a livin', then the Stone Baddass will be happy to shove the sole of my boot straight up his ass and stomp a mudhole in his $40-million-a-fight intestines, and that's all I got ta say about that!
So in answer to your little question, son, the Stone Badass is a real-life elite and not one'a them fake XWF nancyboys, and I wouldn't use a damn XWF contract to wipe my ass, and that's a damn fact!

Current XWF Champions!

Silver Circle - The Upset Queen, Melinda Guzman

Red Circle - Stealth

Black Circle - The Lord of Death, Rob "Superbeast" Steele

Who wants to be the next Silver Circle Champion?

This fall, on N!, watch as eight newly erupted novas train and fight for the chance to battle for a shot at the Silver Circle Champion. 24/7 coverage will be available on the Opnet for those who just can't get enough of these fledgling fighters.

For your chance to be the next XWF superstar, contact xwfhestia@gmail.com. Open auditions will be held in Los Angeles, New York, Paris, London, Hong Kong, and Addis Ababa.

More Questions

Duke "Core" Baron and Tor Fjellanger were brought in for questioning today regarding the murder of a private security officer, and a fire in Georgetown. The XWF was not available for comment.

Has the hype gone too far?

Certain XWF officials were brought in for questioning by law enforcement regarding the release of several videos showing staged, illegal activities. The XWF Executive Committee has not given a statement at this time.

More Videos!

Next on N!, we have obtained several more exclusive videos of Duke "Core" Baron taking mite. Also featured in two of the videos, shocking footage of Core brutally beating to death two fans after a match. XWF Officials could not be contacted for this feature.

Core On Mite...On Video

At six o'clock this morning, N! News aired video footage, acquired from an anonymous source, of XWF Black Circle Champion Duke "Core" Baron using mite. A second tape depicting Baron weeks later murdering a member of a private security firm under contract with the XWF was not broadcast. Though Baron has not been officially named a suspect in any crimes, the FBI, DEA, and DC police authorities are seeking him to shed light on the tapes. They are also seeking to question him regarding a fire in DC's Georgetown neighborhood last night. The fire claimed at least three lives, incinerated a historical building, and caused a blackout for five hours. XWF executive Tor Fjellanger is also sought for questioning. Baron and Fjellanger were not available for comment. The XWF has not issued a statement.